By Kellie Scott of the ABC
While raising awareness that NPD exists is important, people should understand the distinction between the disorder and narcissistic traits.
Photo: Unsplash
Researchers can’t tell you how many people have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), but it’s likely a lot less than TikTok would have you believe.
“I’ve seen an increase [in the label narcissist] on social media and in social settings,” said Catriona Davis-McCabe, a counselling psychologist and president of the Australian Psychological Society.
While raising awareness that NPD existed was important, people should understand the distinction between the disorder and narcissistic traits, Dr Davis-McCabe said.
“The term narcissistic or narcissism has become normalised – we often see it on the TV in reality programs where people will call a partner narcissistic, but they are not referring to NPD.”
Prevalence and symptoms of NPD
Estimations of how many people actually have NPD sit at about 1 percent of the population (with some studies estimating up to 6 percent).
It is more common in men than women.
“It’s a very small amount of people who actually would be diagnosed with NPD – somewhere between 0.5 per cent and 1 per cent,” Dr Davis-McCabe said.
NPD is a mental health diagnosis and “complex disorder”, she said, which affected a person’s social, occupational, and emotional functioning.
Dr Davis-McCabe said people with NPD experienced a pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration from other people, fantasies of being rich and highly successful, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of empathy for others.
“Behind this mask of inflated confidence actually is a really fragile self, and a fragile self-esteem that is so vulnerable to the slightest bit of criticism.”
NPD had a “big impact” on those connected to the person with the disorder, most notably partners and children, she said.
“[People with NPD] often see children as an extension of themselves.
“So they delight in children’s achievements, but when children don’t do so well, they can be criticised for that.”
Narcissism existing on a spectrum
Narcissism was a cluster of traits that existed on a spectrum, explained Nova Gibson, a counsellor who supported victims of narcissistic abuse.
“At one end of the spectrum is someone who is highly malignant, and will be diagnosed with NPD.
“The other end is the place that we all supposedly exist, with healthy narcissistic traits.”
Those traits might be confidence and charm, for example.
In the middle of the spectrum, people may be overly focused on seeking out status, success and admiration at work or in their social lives.
Davis-McCabe said we could all be a “little bit narcissistic”.
“When you win an award at work, maybe it’s healthy to gloat about that – that’s okay, we feel good about that.”
NPD has a “big impact” on those connected to the person with the disorder.
Photo: Unsplash
Gibson said while she acknowledged the research supported the narcissism spectrum, she did not reference it in a counselling setting with victims.
“It builds victim’s hopes that maybe their abuser isn’t so far along the spectrum, and that maybe if we are all on it, then maybe they are narcissists as well.
“It confuses them.”
‘Narcissistic traits can still destroy lives’
Someone did not have to be at the extreme end of the spectrum for narcissistic traits to “destroy lives”, Gibson said.
While she acknowledged NPD differed from someone having narcissistic traits, Gibson said that was not necessarily helpful for people who have been hurt by narcissism.
She said all people have bad days, but consistent patterns of narcissistic behaviour would have a negative impact on the lives of those around them.
Davis-McCabe said there was not a “definite” link between narcissism and coercive control.
However, Gibson said like coercive control, “narcissistic abuse is about dominating someone through fear and punishment, abusing that person psychologically and emotionally, and most of the time starts under the guise of caring”.
The good and bad of becoming a ‘buzzword’
“It has become a buzzword and people are using it to describe someone they just find a bit unpleasant.
“What that does is minimise and invalidate the experience of a true victim [of narcissistic abuse].
Davis-McCabe said with the right education to support it, the growing awareness around NPD was a good thing.
“Living with someone, or having a close relationship with someone, who has NPD is really difficult and challenging.
“Raising awareness that it exists, and what it is, can be positive … we [just] need to ensure the term narcissist is being used correctly.”
She said itwas important that people understand help was available for those with NPD.
“Therapy can help the person really get insight into their problems, and work on how they relate to other people.
“And it’s really important partners and children get support when they’ve been affected.”
– ABC